The Male Version of Valentine's
Okay. I'm not into Valentine's Day. No, really, I'm not. It's not my thing. You can get me chocolate and tell me you love me any time of the year, I really don't care. I'd rather spend the day in bed, reading.
BUT I know how many women see this as a holy day lol And you know, as much as I'm not into this little heart filled day, I still can't believe how STUPID men can be about it.
Read the link below, and you'll know EXACTLY why I'm a little dumbfounded.
http://money.aol.com/special/cheapestiloveyou
Women's "Values"
Now this might sound odd coming from a woman, but the fact is, I can't stand women that date jackasses and don't understand why they get burned. The kind of women that think in no way could it be an issue that THEY have, it has to be that the man just is a bad guy. Ever heard a woman say "I just seem to attract bad men"? But they never stop and look to see if it really is THEM, or THEMSELVES.
There are women, many many women, with a "savior" complex. They see a man that's down on his luck, a little "rough around the edges", violent, drunk, high, whatever, and they, even if it's not consciously, think "I can save him."
News flash ladies, no one can save ANYONE from THEMSELVES. There are men out there that will use you, abuse you, and dump you without a look back. The problem is, you have to understand what kind of men you're attracted to.
Bad boys won't get you anywhere, neither will those that wallow in self pity. If you find this is the kind of man "you're attracting" (aka you're attracted TO, since you're the one that is dating this guy) it's probably a good idea to become conscious of this. Make conscious choice of who NOT to be involved with, no matter temptation.
The reason I guess I'm ranting about this, is because a dear friend, closest thing I have to a sister, got dumped again for the sixth time in the last 365 days by a "serious" boyfriend. She's attracted to "bad boys." (I throw in the self pitying lazy ones too. They're "bad" to me.) If a man drags you down... why be with him? It's supposed to be uplifting, not bogging you down.
I also get furious at women that just straight into a serious relationship with a man. First, this scares the hell out of most men, and the ones it doesn't scare are either truly the one, looking to get laid, or are simply psychopath stalkers. I personally lean to the second one (and the third...).
It's so important to be FRIENDS with a guy. Why don't women understand that? You have to understand who this man is, his values, his beliefs, his goals in life, and if they can fit with yours, before you just throw your heart to him. You won't find a perfect man. They don't exist, but you can find one that's perfect for you.
Bottom line is simple. Don't expect perfection, but strive for it. Know what you want and what you're willing to live with. Know how you feel about yourself. Know you. Then, and only then, find a man that fits into your life and your heart.
Love isn't something to be thrown away on some jackass. Neither is your time. I wish that my friends, my "sisters", my family, could understand that you don't have to settle. That you can't change people. And that sometimes you have to blame yourself. I'm tired of seeing the women I love so deeply getting trashed by something I'd scrape off the bottom of my shoe, because they think that's what they want, what they deserve, that they can change him.
When is it that women will understand how valuable they really are?
Spite
So, I was hanging out with my rl/sl boyfriend/partner in
Second Life, and he was trying to build a shoe from the primitive 3D shapes you can use to ... well, build.
He laments, after a while, "I can't build shoes."
Well, those that do build shoes - at least the really good ones, couldn't just
do it right off the bat. They had to practice. Practice, practice, practice. I mean, it's not like it's just the most infinitely simple process in existance.
At any rate, I went to take a look at a shoe he was working on, and another that he was examining. (No he was not copying, the two styles were completely different, but there were some "little tricks" he was looking into.) As soon as he saw that I was examining the shoe(s), he yanked them up.
I said that he knew I was looking at them, and he admitted that. So, he just picked the shoes up for spite? It's not like he's embarassed to have me check out his building; he knows that he's better at it than I am. He picked them up
simply because I was looking at them.
Now, overall, this is a pretty petty event, but I've noticed this with a lot of guys I know. If they have even the slightest little idea that you might make a suggestion about the way they are doing something, they will promptly find a way to eliminate the possibility for the conversation.
Why is this? I mean, is it so bad to have someone make a suggestion? If their suggestion is completely out of left field and won't work for what you have in mind, all you have to do is say so (hopefully, politely) but if their suggestion has some merit, maybe you could learn from it?
God. The male ego. I swear! ;)
Okay, I have to start ranting. This should be blatantly obvious to most people, but it seems that we have a common sense deficit. Not only is it disgusting to watch, but it unfairly gives innocent people a bad reputation.
This potshot at men is for the surprisingly (or seemingly) high amount of men that treat women as nothing more than property or a piece of meat.
You've all seen this happen. Just turn into your typical episode of
Maury or
Jerry Springer to see it in action. This is especially obvious when two men are fighting for the affection of the same woman.
It does not even have to be reduced to the lowest-common-denominator types that are on those shows. Listen to how high school boys talk about girls a lot of the time. Listen to a lot of the most popular music that is currently availiable. The goal for many of these men is to be seen as some kind of glorified pimp, even if they don't know what an actual pimp is.
Sorry, guys. You will not be the pimp that you dream to be.
The strangest thing happens not long from the start of such a relationship. The man will start to complain that the woman he is seeing isn't respecting him enough and he will search for solutions to the problem.
What am I missing here? Hmm...guy wants to be a glorified pimp and treats the woman as an underling...the woman doesn't respect him now...oh God, what could it be?
Which brings me to my next point....
Why are there so many women that seem to go along with this? They will complain that they need to do something to get the man to respect them more...and most of the things they come up with only make things worse.
Listen, if this is some kind of kinky game a couple plays during their play time, fine. However, there looks to be a culture that focuses on being "the pimp" 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 364 days a year (Flag Day is an off day, even pimps need a break sometime). Maybe such an attitude will get you the person of your desire, but that will last only briefly. Cutting out this behavior can only be a good thing.
Besides, nobody else wants to look at you trying to walk around as a master pimp.
Why....
.....do men think women don't like sex? I really am a little stunned by the number of men that think we tolerate sex because we feel like we OWE it to them. I'm sorry guys, but women love sex. Some even more than you. Just because a woman doesn't like it with YOU doesn't mean we don't like sex. It probably means you're communication sucks because you aren't picking up any of her signals. (No I don't blame ALL men for that lol) Here's the big ol' difference. Men and women are (take a deep breath) different. So we....? Processing information differently, correct, bonus points to anyone that just got that right lol
Men first off, are visual. Women are focused on vocals. That's a major gap right there. For example the average woman uses about 30,000 words a day. The man? About 15,000, HALF of a woman's. Men also use the left side of their brain, primarily. Now I don't think this applies to ALL men, but that's my opinion, since everyone uses more or less of their brain I hate to throw all men in together like that. Women use both sides of their brain. So there is your scientific, can't deny it, look at the way we think.
I'm just starting to dig into our basic physical and mental differences but here are some links I think are pretty interesting:
Male and Female BrainsStudy suggests difference between female and male sexualityThe New Sex ScorecardThe Difference Between the Male and Female Brain
